Friday, September 11, 2015

The Power of Being There


Record audio or upload mp3 >>
I believe in the power of being there.

A teacher has a unique and, I’ll say it, weird relationship with his students. Get close, but not too close. Understand them as individuals, but be careful not to show too much of yourself. Show students you care about them, but hugging a student is inappropriate. Be energetic, approach students on their level and find similar interests, but remain the adult who is not quite their friend. It’s a confusing juggling act. In the jumble of recommendations and restrictions, I have found that the best thing I have to offer is myself. I will be there.

Soccer is not an interesting sport for me. Two groups of people kicking around a ball for hours and ending in a tied score of 0-0? I don’t understand the appeal. However, if one of the young men sitting in my desks invites me to their game, you can bet I will be there. I may need to take cues from the crowd about when to clap or scowl, but I’m there. I will hang around the field gate as the team exits and tweet a picture from the game because I want students to know I’m there for them, and I support their work. I’ve driven to faraway community plays and sat by myself at poorly scheduled hockey games, but I was there. Even outside of the English classroom, I want my students to know that what they are doing is great. Netflix can wait.

A teacher’s life is busy. Today, I had a meeting before school, play practice after, and Mini Class Night in the evening. There was less than an hour to work out the shuttle bus and get myself some dinner, but when a freshman in the cafeteria asked me for help on his Algebra from when he was absent, I stayed. Yes, it meant I had to basically inhale some chicken nuggets before meeting rooms full of parents, but I feel like being there for that freshman was the best choice for that moment. That’s a much bigger impact that being able to breathe between bites of dinner. I care for my students and want to see them succeed.

I have never experienced a tragic breakup. I have never lost a close friend. Yes, I have known loss, but rarely have I felt it as some of my students have. I’ve had a classmate snap his neck while working out and another murdered by his girlfriend’s ex-husband; I’ve known a co-worker to drop dead of a heart attack in a mall and another in a school lobby with an aneurism. But I have not truly felt loss like my students have. I’ve never personally been linked to the kid who found his parents’ murder-suicide when he got home from school. No one I ate lunch with chose to end his life by stepping in front of a train or onto a highway. My arsenal of grammar usage and literature analysis cannot heal this pain. My students know things that I cannot fathom, but I am still choosing to be there.

I am not a parent, but I want to keep them safe, make sure they are making smart choices and resisting temptation. I am not a therapist, but I want to talk them through their problems and be the one to find solutions. I am not a magician, but I want to wave a magic wand and make everything better. I am only one person, but I want to make the world better for my kids.

I am not a parent, therapist or magician, but I have decided to be the person who is there. I will support. I will aid. I will come when called. I may not be anyone’s first choice, but I will be an option. You will see my face in the stands, hear my applause in the theater, watch me use my phone as a calculator since you are not allowed one. I will not force you to express feelings on topics you don’t want to. (But you can.) I will not offer life lesson you didn’t ask for. (But I have them.) I will distract you with a box of donuts. We will talk about movies or music. You will listen to me read a second blog post written at midnight, even though my first is completed and saved and ready, because I feel strongly enough to share. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a person. I’ll be that person.

I don’t know how I can be useful, but I believe there is still a power in being there anyway.

I am here.

I recorded this entry using Vocaroo. You can also hear the recording here.

No comments:

Post a Comment